Just thoughts

I'm on my back in the sofa with a laptop in my lap :) My two cousins have gone for a walk attempting to get the one kid to sleep, while possibly picking up the other from daycare on their way back. Different lives from mine altogether :P

However days like these are rare and special, time to just chill, to be with people I love and who love me. Not for something I deliver or produce, but simply because I am me... It's a good feeling!

My mind starts wandering of into places I'm not sure is healthy; will I ever be in a house, with a husband and kids? not sure... do I want to be..? I think I do... The thought of sharing my life with someone is appealing. It brings a longing that I wasn't sure I previously possessed. Question is where it leaves me? As far as I'm concerned you don't just walk on to the street and shop for a man to parttake in your life?

Ok - so my life is kinda a mess... haha... I'll be the first to admit to that... I have somewhere to stay for another week... then, who knows. I am in a city I want to be in, just need to figure out how that is going to happen. I have a job 3 hours away, will be commuting a few days per week. My friends are scattered all over the place, thanks to the fact that I have been scattered all over the place! Now that I just want to settle down, be somewhere, impact lives a little more than the honeymoon period of a relationship I find myself on the verge of being lost. Even hesitating on the simple question if I have it in me? Whether I do or don't it isn't exactly lined up to meet a man, maybe I've stumbled onto him already, but I'm not sure he thinks so... Till later skater!

Now it is time to prepair for the return of the children :) I shall be the fun aunty who plays and makes them laugh :P Then convince myself that I'm not missing out cause I don't have my own...