Insane or Brave?

Not sure if I am slightly insane or if I am brave?

One week ago I got dropped of urgently at the neurosurgeons ward and poked in for a few days, but they couldn’t figure out the problem so I was let go and have since been home struggling to be up and about for longer periods of time. But this state of existence rhymes very badly with my intentions for the future!

So on one hand the option is to stay put, lye down and just wait to be better, then on the other hand I have tried that for 6 months and the only result I am getting is my life is on hold which is starting to frustrate me beyond belief. So in order to save any relations in my life and to save my own sanity and well being it is time for action…

Now take it easy some people say and I have to again and again return to the fact that just hanging around doesn’t seem to be lucrative for me *smiling* Plus I don’t seem to have the ability to go half speed, it is like all or nothing. I was listening to Queen the other day and the words “I want it all and I want it now” are currently fitting in my life!

What I want:

Where do I want to be? – Somewhere where my life is mine to live! Currently Jönköping is on the top of the list!

What do I want to do? – Something that will have me wake up to a smile and a challenge!

Who do I want in my life? – Family, but not too close, am getting claustrophobic – Friends to share all aspects of life with!

Medically – can unfortunately not avoid this point – I need to be close to Linköping for the neurosurgeon. I am currently waiting for tests and check-ups.

My current situation:

I am kind of living my life on hold… waiting for it to restart and I am not sure it will do so by itself, so the thought that is now moulding round in my head is how do I jumpstart it without jeopardising my health?

A while back I said that our lives are what we make them! And the importance of believing in yourself! I believe that I have loads to contribute both on a private and professional level. I long to have my own life back, 6 months of break is enough!!!

Therefore my current action plan is:

Tomorrow morning the bus leaves for Jönköping, hoping it will contain me and my bags! I am living in a friends flat for a month then I need to have found a job and a place to stay!

Not much of a plan but one thing I have learned from my life so far is that no matter how much there is to struggle with or get through I can’t put my life on hold because then I fear that I will wake up one day and realize that life is what has happened while I have been waiting for it. Not wanting to miss out on the goodies I therefore invite you who want to be part of my life to join in and enjoy the ride!!!

Carpe Diem